:: Whitish's Blog ::

I am going to be 21 this December 2009. I really feel much more mature now than before. And people always say I have always been more mature than people at my age. I can feel that I become less self-conscious, less self-centered, less shy, less depressed. Thank God for being mature. However I will stay young. I will do whatever I like, even if people say it is so childish to watch cartoons and read mangas. I will stay young forever. I will relate to people,whatever their age. See, I am much less pessimist.

11:51 p.m. - 2009-10-17

We Will Play Together in This Life

Human are stupid. I have known that from a long time. We do stupid things and we regret and we cry and we get lonely and we think about suicide and we cannot see what we really have and we are scared of things that have not even happened. Just like you, I am so stupid most of the time. Doing things that I should not do, giving up so early, blaming others. I still try to remind myself that all these things will pass, so nothing actually matters. No need to worry too much, cry too much. However those sufferings are what differ happiness from sadness. So I guess it is okay to cry our eyes out, because we will laugh again tomorrow. This world is so colourful, with sad things and happy things in it, a thought that makes me happy and sad at the same time.

What I love to do

Answering questions in yahoo!7 Answers. I actually believe I can be a very good psychologist. Write fiction stories, although slowly, I don't care. I have to finish what I started. Friends are wonderful. Thanks to Chreezel who always influences me with new songs and books and movies. My world is never boring anymore.

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Thanks to my smart genius friend, Chreezy,who transformed my ugly blog into the pretty one. It's nice to have smart friends hahaha.

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2009-10-17
Feel guilty.
Thanks to my Mom, who reminded me that actually every person is same, wants to be loved, can feel happiness and sadness.
I actually just realised that the prince might be not like what I thought. Maybe he is not that tough. Maybe he is not that scary. Maybe he is not that spoiled. Maybe he is just same like me, lonely and interested to get involved with others. Why did I conclude this?
Becos yesterday he several times came to other patient's bed, asking what the other boy was watching (and yea, this boy watched movies all the time.). I just realised I did the same everytime I took the boy's BP.
And yesterday he talked a lot with the nurse, joked with his family. He might be actually just like a normal person, except that mask expression that scares me. And perfect body that gets me drooling. Oh well. See. I was blinded by all his appearance. So bad. That's why I feel guilty now. All these days I might have discriminate him. Not that I did something bad to him, but I just did not talk to him, nor smile to him. I also cannot believe myself. Me, who principled to spread love to all people, how could i be so cruel with this guy? I mean he is sick, and the hell I dont know what he has been through, what kind of suffering. Just because of his appearance, his behaviour, in one day I had judged him and been unfair to him. I am so ashamed of myself. I wonder whether he feels that I has been unfriendly to him only, whether he also hates me.
So I have to mend this. How? Since I dont really have anything to talk with him, I will only smile to him. That's it. Sounds easy, but I hope I can overcome that nervousness that will creep me out everytime I see him. Unfair huh? I will switch to that 'loving' mode, I promise.
Ok, should be sleeping by now. Why one day passes so fast?

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